my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
