google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
