JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
