help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
third nipple confirmed
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
