Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
