somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
