True but thats because hes a fetus.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
