New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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