i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
