i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
