you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
