Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
