hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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