no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
