so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I seem to have left my pride at pride
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
