1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize