it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
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