Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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