If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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