I hate your face
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
