so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
