well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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