We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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