What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
