can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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