it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
