What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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