You smell like stripper and shame
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
