batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
