No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
