I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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