Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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