whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
