I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
