everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize