look no pants
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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