ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
