i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I am naked and annoyed.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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