Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she smelled like a LAN party
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
