He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
where does the pee come out of this thing
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
