there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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