I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
