So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So. Much. Porn.
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