i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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