Nicole vs. Life
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
