You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
