between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We are two peas in an std pod
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
