I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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