come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
