It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
