You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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