thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
