I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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