My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
