Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
