i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
