like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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