Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
