Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
