Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
