Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
