wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
