Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
