Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I did not marry a roomba.
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