Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
