Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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