u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
