Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
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