I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
