its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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