nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
