i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I will pee on everything he values.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
