He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
