people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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