I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
