i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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