I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
