You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
