i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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