I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
