idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
