i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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