We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
...so i touched it.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
